Long Live King Victor!

A man named Victor lived not so long ago, in a forest that was not much of a forest at all. You see, there were far more rocks in this forest than there were trees. I guess it is kind of the same idea as a rock garden, low maintenance, bad for burning though. Victor did not even know what fire was until one day he wondered from his natural habitat to find a city sitting just beyond his rock heaven. The city was called Flack and was not very large, however, to Victor the city contained more scurrying individuals than he had seen in his lifetime. Victor ran from the edge of the forest, club in hand and one by one bludgeoned all of the villagers to death. It is hard to justify this action of Victor’s, but then again what use could the villagers be to him? He had lived by himself all of his life, simply taking one day at a time. It was a simple case of budgeting, he used all he needed and destroyed all that threatened his needs. Victor needed supplies which is why he left his forest home in the first place. Once he found the village the villagers were a threat to him as he needed their supplies. Was Victor justified in killing them all? Could he possibly have achieved his goals in another fashion? Well of course he could but what fun would that be? Victor blindly (since all the villagers were dead) robbed the city granary and then one by one, he went house to house taking anything he deemed as useful. He vanished from the city without a trace leaving behind only a sign that read "Don't fuck with Victor."

The next day Victor awoke with enough supplies to keep him functioning for the next month. He had grains, he had dried fruits, he had ten axes, a shotgun and 8 packs of ammunition. He walked out of his small stone domicile to find himself to be a wanted man, the authorities were patrolling the rocky terrain looking for any trace of life. Victor did not know how to respond, he reached for his shotgun, loaded it and prepared for a stand. The problem was that Victor had never fired a gun, so he did not have a clue how it worked. It was a miracle that he even got it loaded in the first place. He took the loaded shotgun, and pushed the trigger with his big toe. Victor was dead, he had shot himself in the head. Apparently the shells are propelled out the small end of the gun and not the large one. Who would have known? Not Victor. It's ok though, this event was a simple matter of Darwinism, survival of the fittest. Since Victor did not know how to use a gun, he was weak and not useful to society. We are all better off that he is dead, because what good is someone if they can not kill another? I mean great civilization in history have achieved their power through the blood of others. Do you think that they won this power with a bunch of incompetent peace-loving morons? Hell no they didn't. They were all killing machines, a loaded gun if you will.

The local authorities marched upon Victor's decapitated body. They planted two signs over his dead body, Victors and one of their own design. Anyone who stumbled upon this atrocity would find a headless body marked only by the phrases “Don’t fuck with Victor” and “Long live King Victor.” The authorities made their point.

Long live King Victor!