Adam walked up a hill and fell down, only to die amongst the greener grass on the other side.

Swinging to hell.

Weeeeeeeeeeee... the swing beneath me gives out and I face plant in the gravel. Where did this swing come from, why am... err.. was I on it? Where am I and who is this by my side? Nothing makes sense, I am lost, I am blind, I am confused. I am a Martian in a bubble... I am a Martian far away from home, a Martian no longer on mars. I know this because there are no swings at home and I now find myself laying face down beneath one, broken. I am not mad, how could I be? How could I expect a swing to support me when I can not even support myself? I am not depressed, or unhappy, or even negative, instead, as I said before, I am simply confused. Nothing makes sense to me, one day I am at home, rolling in the same red dust that my ancestors did, but then the next I am in an unfamiliar surrounding. Is this a glimpse into my future? The remnant of the past? Neither the future nor the past? Nothing makes sense and now I lay face down, my vision more obstructed and blurred than I can ever remember. Is this even real? Are you real? Is this a dream or is it some sort of a joke? I just don't get it..

Fuck swings.

A message from God.

Apparently my blog readers aren't the only ones that had to put up with my drunkeness last thursday night.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: A message from God himself.
From: "Adam M. Stange"
Date: Fri, August 5, 2005 2:17 am
To: Rachel, censored@luther.edu
_____________________________________________

I love you!

Love,
Adam....
err...
I mean.. God.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

A message from me to my girlfriend.

From the library of the U.S. Congress. August 5th, 2005.

Peace

The world is nothing but a Wheaties Box.

Tonight.......

Tonight I went out,
I went out with my father,
I went out to have a drink.
I did not know what to expect
but I wanted a god damn drink.

What is with music now days, I went out to hear some good rock and roll and what did I hear? Well at first I heard some rock... but it quickly fizzled into shit, absolute shit. I went to hear Led Zeppelin, or Guns and Roses, or The Doors, or whatever else.. what do I hear? I hear "Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy"... What the hell? If I wanted to hear that bullshit I could have went to any of the many bars in Mankato.. but instead I wanted to hear some good rock and roll, is that too much to ask? I just don't get it. Am I going to go out to a community get together in 10, 15 years and have to subject my children to procreative acts on the dance floor? I used to say "hip hop will never catch on, people are too smart for that." But that was also before president Bush got elected and before the American public thought "West Wing" was a secret camera in the Oval Office. God people are stupid, and I mean that in the most affectionate way possible. Actually.... no I don't. I hate people, I think people are idiots and a vast majority of them piss me off. I just don't get why people are so stupid. I mean we grew up the same way, we all were taught the difference between right and wrong but instead some people just can't grasp the fact that they aren't mentally challenged, and that they have no reason to possess an IQ of 35. If there is one thing in my drunken rage that I want to pass to anyone reading my blog it is this. Shape the hell up, go out and educate yourself and I am not talking about watching Fox News, or listening to Kreepy Tom's top 500, I am talking about reading a god damned book, or listening to some music that actually contains a thread of talent. Art is dead in this country and I am sick of hearing its bullshit replacement.

P.S. I was getting into Ribfest tonight and the lady IDed me. She goes "Oh, a newbe!" and smiles. I just wanted to say.. "Lady... I have been drinking for over six years,' newbe' my ass..." but I didn't want to make a scene. I hate how people have to separate you into some sort of special class just because I just turned 21 two months ago. I mean Jesus, I have waited 21 years of my fucking life to actually be considered an adult in this country and I still have to put up with people's shit. This is my message to the vast majority of the world. which is anyone who..

1. Has no self respect.
2. Has no intelligence.
3. Is a douche bag.
4. Cuts me off in traffic.
5. Turns without signaling.
6. Plays shitty music.
7. Possesses 5 or more STD's.
8. Tries to push their 'faith' on to me.
9. Thinks they are a musician, yet can only play I-IV-V in C, G, and F.
10. Tells me happy birthday two months past my birth date just because I am now 21.
11. Goes to a twins game and talks about this sweet guy who can drink '3 beers in 10 minutes!'
12. Dumps water on me in a restaurant and still expects a tip.
13. Plays their subs so that I can hear them all the way across the fucking parking lot.
14. Listens to country.
15. Drinks Miller Lite.
16. Listens to Hip Hop.
17. Listens to Nickel Back.
18. Is Chad Kroeger.
19. Tells me my girlfriend is hot, like I don't already think that.
20. Drinks a drink and can't even walk anymore.
21. Points to the sky after they do something great.
22. Is a member of the Twins baseball team.
23. Is a member of any team that is better than the Twins.
24. Just pisses me off.


"fuck off."

I am sick of the world being filled with people that seem to have no other purpose than to just piss me off. The next time a planet gets created out of nothing, I hope I am there to handselect the inhabitants.

The perfect joining of God and science.

Words from our commander in chief.

Humanity is like billions of ticks sucking the blood of the Earth. 

Real stories, straight from Congress.

Dear Lucinda,

How have you been? I have been fine. I can not believe that it has already been two weeks since we first met at the science museum. I am so glad that we decided to become pen pals, it is really exciting to talk to someone that knows so much more than me. At first it was kind of weird talking to someone that is so much older than myself, but then you explained to me how you are really just a kid trapped inside an adult body, that you can relate so much better to people in my age range rather than people in your own. I don't think that my parents would understand the age gap, but then again I do not feel that they understand me. I know that I am only 14, but sometimes I wonder if I could make it on my own. I feel that my parents are holding me down more than they are helping me out. I know that you have a lot going on in your life, and probably have a family of your own, but it would be really nice if you could take the time to write back to me. I feel as if I have no one else to talk to, I just need to vent about some of the things that are going on in my life. I will talk to you later Lucinda, I hope we have a chance to meet again.

Sincerely,
Greg

*A note from the Library of Congress, 1995

















One nation under God, One nation drowning fast.