Sometimes nothing is worth being said.

I really have nothing to say, but for some reason I have the overwhelming urge to say it. So this post is me saying nothing because lack of clutter and lack of sound are two very feared things in our society.

















































I hope you enjoyed.
A.M.S.

A toast to my first twenty one years of life.

It is one in the morning and in exactly 47 hours I am going to be twenty one years of age. All I can say is "wow!" I never thought I would make it twenty one years on this planet and I can not believe where I am, not physically but as a person. The biggest shock to me right now, however is how unbelievably happy I am and for this I have a lot of people to thank.

Mike, you have been a great friend of mine since junior high and I can not believe some of the crazy shit we have done and went through. Although we definitely have been in and out of touch over the last couple years I am so glad that we have been able to hang on to some great memories and can still have a hell of a time when we get together. You have more potential than anyone I have ever known and I got your back no matter where life takes you. So thanks for the memories that we have already had and those that we have yet to create.

Rachel, I can sum up the impact you have had on my life in one word, "amazing." You single handedly walked into my life and showed me how great a relationship can really be. You are such an amazing person and I am so glad that you are a part of my life.

DHaas, you are my room mate next year so I figure I better say something good about you. Man we have some crazy memories from the past year. You have always had my back and you have been there when I just needed someone to bitch to. You are a great friend and I am really looking forward to college apartments next year. Rock!

Jay, although we have had our disputes you have truly been a friend. You always have my back and I know that you are always looking out for me so thank you. Again we have had some wild ass times and I am excited to continue the tradition next year, although I can't believe you cut your hair, what the hell man?

Josh, I have known you as long as I can remember and I think it is awesome how we can still have a good time together. You have some pretty weird friends, but they all know how to have a good time and that's how I roll man. Thanks for being a friend!

The gentlemen of Tiomega, I can not believe a joined a fucking frat and more so I can't believe I hangout with a bunch of borderline alcoholics but what can I say? It has been a blast. You guys know how to party and everyone at Luther knows it. We threw some of the most memorable parties last year and everyone will be talking about Morning Keg for months to come. I can't wait to see you all again in the fall, stay out of jail and stay out of rehab.

My family, you guys have supported me in all of my endeavors and as much as I know my mom doesn’t read my blog because she is afraid what she might find, I just want to let you all know how much I appreciate it. So thank you so much and I love you all.

To all of my other friends, I am sorry that I can't include a personalized note to all of you but I don't have that much time. If you really want to know how important of a role you have played in my life send me an e-mail (stanad01@luther.edu) and I would be happy to let you know. Anyway, I can't believe how great all of my friends are, I am truly lucky to have so many people care about me. Thank you all for everything you have ever done for me.

As easy as it is to get caught up in the negative aspects of life I think that it is important to take the time to count your blessings once in awhile. Even though a lot of shit has been going wrong in my life, the important things are alive and well, my family, my friends, and my lovely girlfriend. I hope you all know how happy you make me! Here’s to the next twenty one years being as wonderful as the last!

Where have I been?

Most of us have been awake at three in the morning, unable to sleep, thoughts still racing over the events of the day before and the possibilities of tomorrow. All great artists needed inspiration and unfortunately inspiration usually came in the form of disaster or at least this is what history seems to have portrayed. Over the past four months, my life has fallen into synch, everything is clicking and I am trucking right along. I find myself smiling at the beauty of everyday life and laughing with my friends as another week comes to a close. Everything seems so easy, so I lay my head down to rest for another day without a care in the world. For the first time in my life I feel silent, the urge to speak as present as ever, but I have nothing to say. All great artists need inspiration, is this true? I feel like I have all the inspiration in the world, after all, the world itself is inspiration enough is it not? Maybe it is not inspiration that is lacking but instead my eye to see it? Have I lost my ability to create? Is it not funny how as human beings we feel the need to suffer, if life is going great, happiness a common acquaintance why must we go out searching for things to go wrong and things to worry about? I feel good, why can I not just be happy and acknowledge that I deserve it, that I have worked hard to get where I am? No matter how much I accomplish I remember everything else that I could have completed which makes satisfaction an impossible goal but is this not what has made me successful thus far in life, is this not what has brought me to this happy point in the first place? Maybe I should embrace my self-criticism, after all what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, correct? As I lay my head down to rest for another day I lay awake hoping that my voice will find me once again, that again I will feel the need to create something beautiful if not just for a moment.