Where have I been?

Most of us have been awake at three in the morning, unable to sleep, thoughts still racing over the events of the day before and the possibilities of tomorrow. All great artists needed inspiration and unfortunately inspiration usually came in the form of disaster or at least this is what history seems to have portrayed. Over the past four months, my life has fallen into synch, everything is clicking and I am trucking right along. I find myself smiling at the beauty of everyday life and laughing with my friends as another week comes to a close. Everything seems so easy, so I lay my head down to rest for another day without a care in the world. For the first time in my life I feel silent, the urge to speak as present as ever, but I have nothing to say. All great artists need inspiration, is this true? I feel like I have all the inspiration in the world, after all, the world itself is inspiration enough is it not? Maybe it is not inspiration that is lacking but instead my eye to see it? Have I lost my ability to create? Is it not funny how as human beings we feel the need to suffer, if life is going great, happiness a common acquaintance why must we go out searching for things to go wrong and things to worry about? I feel good, why can I not just be happy and acknowledge that I deserve it, that I have worked hard to get where I am? No matter how much I accomplish I remember everything else that I could have completed which makes satisfaction an impossible goal but is this not what has made me successful thus far in life, is this not what has brought me to this happy point in the first place? Maybe I should embrace my self-criticism, after all what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, correct? As I lay my head down to rest for another day I lay awake hoping that my voice will find me once again, that again I will feel the need to create something beautiful if not just for a moment.